New York blogger Allison Hope recently penned a crass editorial for xoJane in which she describes public flatulence as her “secret feminist weapon that works every time.”
After lamenting her perception that women “get silenced, pushed aside, ignored, paid less, denied care, called names, and a million and one other bad things,” Hope recalled the cramped subway ride that gave her an unorthodox idea.
“The first time it happened, I admit it wasn’t deliberate,” she wrote. “It was one of those days when I had eaten something like fava beans for lunch, and the gas was just mounting in my intestines for hours while I pushed it back in at work.”
While Hope acknowledged she is “not the daintiest of gals,” she said she was “mortified” by the unexpected release of gas — that is, until she realized how effectively it cleared the area around her.
Since then, she said she has continued to use the technique in an array of social situations.
“I fart everywhere now,” she explained. “I fart in the grocery store to get the men behind me in line to back up a notch. I fart on the ferry to get men to take their g–d—ed arm off the back of my seat. I fart at the gym to get the sweaty men to move on over and not take the machine right next to mine. I fart on the street to get men to slow their roll and keep a respectful distance behind me and not encroach on my personal space.”
Hope offered fellow feminists some advice for creating the smelliest and longest-lasting releases.
“Ladies,” she wrote, “we can stink men into submission.”