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Feminist touts her latest form of activism: ‘I fart everywhere now’

New York blogger Allison Hope recently penned a crass editorial for xoJane in which she describes public flatulence as her “secret feminist weapon that works every time.”

After lamenting her perception that women “get silenced, pushed aside, ignored, paid less, denied care, called names, and a million and one other bad things,” Hope recalled the cramped subway ride that gave her an unorthodox idea.

“The first time it happened, I admit it wasn’t deliberate,” she wrote. “It was one of those days when I had eaten something like fava beans for lunch, and the gas was just mounting in my intestines for hours while I pushed it back in at work.”

While Hope acknowledged she is “not the daintiest of gals,” she said she was “mortified” by the unexpected release of gas — that is, until she realized how effectively it cleared the area around her.

Since then, she said she has continued to use the technique in an array of social situations.

“I fart everywhere now,” she explained. “I fart in the grocery store to get the men behind me in line to back up a notch. I fart on the ferry to get men to take their g–d—ed arm off the back of my seat. I fart at the gym to get the sweaty men to move on over and not take the machine right next to mine. I fart on the street to get men to slow their roll and keep a respectful distance behind me and not encroach on my personal space.”

Hope offered fellow feminists some advice for creating the smelliest and longest-lasting releases.

“Ladies,” she wrote, “we can stink men into submission.”

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1 Comment on Feminist touts her latest form of activism: ‘I fart everywhere now’

  1. I already absolutely have as little to do with feminists as I can help, once they’re identified as such. If a mugger was robbing a feminist, her car was broken down by the side of the road (when her cellphone wasn’t getting signal), her house was on fire or getting broken into when she wasn’t home, etc., I would honor her wishes and totally avoid her and hers. Likewise, I would never hire a feminist to be an employee, buy a product from one, use a feminist dentist/doctor/tradesman, etc. After all, honoring their preferences is only considerate, yes? Perhaps there could be a central registry of any woman who’s ever taken more than one Woman’s Studies class in college, admitted to being a lesbian, voted Democrat, gotten an Education degree/joined the NEA, ever lived in San Francisco/Boston/Chicago, dated a black guy, or advocated socialism or environmentalism, accepted any affirmative action benefit, cut her hair short, owns no dresses, birthed a child outside of marriage, frivolously divorced, or otherwise indicated she’s more likely than not a feminist, so all men like me (e.g., heterosexuals with >1 gonad) can be considerate and completely steer clear of her and those like her.

    Like

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