A Florida man is facing several criminal charges after police say he called his local sheriff’s department to report his stash of cocaine stolen.

Reports indicate David Blackmon, a self-described drug dealer, phoned Okaloosa County authorities to complain that a bag of narcotics and about $50 in cash were stolen from his vehicle.

When police searched the car, however, it was clear the thief — if there was one — did not make off with all of Blackmon’s illicit inventory.

The sheriff’s office elaborated on the search:

“The deputy … spotted cocaine still in that spot. He also found a crack pipe on the floorboard by the driver’s door and seat and a crack rock on the center console by the cocaine. The money was not located.”